


Dishonesty

by AT_HS_BS



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drugs, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Multi, Sober Roxy Lalonde, Songfic, Two Shot, grimdark!rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-01-14 21:12:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1279000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AT_HS_BS/pseuds/AT_HS_BS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy doesn't want to be a murderer<br/>Rose doesn't want to hear his name if this is where it ends</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unfaithful

**Author's Note:**

> -9/25/14-  
> Now completely finished! Hope you enjoy my songfics, inspired by two songs about.... well best not to ruin it now if you don't already know. ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As I coated my painted lips with lipgloss, a man with blonde hair and orange eyes hidden behind pointed anime glasses walked through the door to our bedroom and stood behind me. "Going somewhere Roxy?" He asked, his eyes clouded and unfocused. "Yeah. Just gunna go hang with Janey and the girls." I say stagnantly. I see his face in the mirror. He knows I'm lying. But he doesn't say a word. He just stands there and stares at us in the mirror.
> 
>  
> 
> _I don't wanna be.... A murderer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part one, sorry it's a little short, but the next one has a whole lot more detail, now that I've actually put it up.

I look in the mirror as I dressed my lips with blood red lipstick. I rub my lips together before popping them to ensure that everywhere is colored. I do another once over my make up. My eyeliner flowed across my eyes and swooped off, creating a sharp point at the edge of my magenta eyes. My eyelashes were curled and spread evenly across the edge of my eyelids. As I coated my painted lips with lipgloss, a man with blonde hair and orange eyes hidden behind pointed anime glasses walked through the door to our bedroom and stood behind me. "Going somewhere Roxy?" He asked, his eyes clouded and unfocused. "Yeah. Just gunna go hang with Janey and the girls." I say stagnantly. I see his face in the mirror. He knows I'm lying. But he doesn't say a word. He just stands there and stares at us in the mirror. A few moments pass by before he walks into our bathroom. I can hear the buzzing of his electric toothbrush as I try to find a way to put up my hair.

I finally give up putting up my hair as Dirk begins to walk out the bathroom, and decide to just brush it. He walks over to where I'm standing and kisses me on the cheek. "Don't stay out late." He said. I focus on my hair in the mirror and stare at his reflection to answer him. "Alright." I continue to brush my hair while speaking. We we've been this distant since about a year ago. And every day, I see him retreating more and more into himself. I know he knows that I've been unfaithful. I know it's killing him. I don't want to stay with him anymore. I don't want to kill him anymore than I already have. But I continue on. Why? I don't know anymore.

I finish brushing my hair and head for our bedroom door when I hear him call out. "Roxy!" I turn around quickly to see what he wants. I meet his eyes and I can see him trapped within himself, and in there he's begging me to stay. But the Dirk trapped inside and the Dirk housing him said two different things. "See ya when you get back." I nodded. "Love you Rox." A piece of my heart chips off. "Love you too Strider." And with that I walk out our bedroom door and head out of our apartment. It's a warm night. As warm as the blood that flowed through me. I walked down the stairs and headed for the parking lot.  
  


As I walked I passed a window with a couple similar to how Dirk and I used to be. The girl pounces on her boyfriend and smiles. They exchange words before laughing. What happened to us? Why weren't we like that anymore? Another guy then walked into the house, and started to introduce a friend, and I suddenly felt like I was suffocating. I quickly ran away from the window. I continued on to the parking lot.

I passed a cat resting within a hat outside in the cold. It was small and had white fur above it's eyes, almost like an extra set of eyes. The hat was orange and had a single dot on it. Soon the cat left the hat and went into it's owners house. I looked in the window and saw the cat lay on a soft green pillow with polkadots.

I finally reached the parking lot and see a jetblue and green car with a custom license plate that said "Ecto-1". I opened the door to the car and was welcomed by a face with slightly bucked teeth, pure blue eyes, rectangular glasses and jet black hair. "Hey Ro-Lal." The face said. I smiled at the man in the seat, but with a smile that wasn't completely genuine. "Hey John." I said. "Ready to go?" I looked back at the apartment complex I lived in with Dirk. I saw a shadow in the window of my apartment walk away before the lights went off. A single tear fell down my face silently. I turned to John and nodded "Yeah." Before getting in the car. "Let's go."

 

_I don't wanna be.... A murderer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, I know, and it only vaguely gives a nod to the song. Really I wrote this as though this was happening in a movie and Unfaithful was playing in the background.


	2. Drip Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Drip. . . Drop. . . Drip. . . Drop_  
>  The leaky facet's symphony seemed to ring throughout the house as I stared out the big window in our living room, sitting on the bench underneath it. John, my man, my other half, sat on the couch behind me, staring blankly into space.  
> . . .  
> He paused it once he noticed me standing there, waiting for me to speak.  
> "I loved you." I stated.  
> Silence followed. Years seemed to pass before he replied.  
> "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is based on the song Drip Drop by Safura, specifically the Nightcore Mix. I actually thought of this one first, and was going to have it as a Dirk and Roxy thing, but it became a Rose and John thing after I decided to do an "Unfaithful" songfic as the first chapter.

_Drip. . . Drop. . . Drip. . . Drop_

The leaky facet's symphony seemed to ring throughout the house as I stared out the big window in our living room, sitting on the bench underneath it. John, my man, my other half, sat on the couch behind me, staring blankly into space. "Tell me what's happening to our relationship. I know something's wrong." I whispered under my breath. Whether he heard me— and ignored me— or not, he didn’t answer. I hoped for the latter, but suspected the former.

A moment passed, slowed to an eternity, by silence between us, before John suddenly spoke.

"I'm gonna go hang out with Dave and Jake." He said, avoiding the mention of Dirk's name. Either way, I knew it was a lie. I've been able to tell when he lies lately.

I hummed in acknowledgement.

Despite saying so, he sat there another long moment, as though waiting for me to stop him. But that's just wishful thinking on my part; he stopped trying to make our relationship work along time ago. I said nothing.

To anyone looking in from the outside, we'd seem like a happy couple not yet married. And that's how it started. But the last three weeks passed with us barely talking. I'm pretty sure I know why, and it breaks my heart.

"Am in your heart or outside of it?" I asked, this time aloud. He replied with more silence.

Sighing, he got up and walked toward our door grabbing his keys before slamming the door behind him. The sound of the door crashing against the frame made me flinch.

I watched as he climbed in his car and drove off. After he his car drove out of view, I shifted my view from the street in front of our house to my reflection in the window. My shining hair now lay limp and pale blonde, my purple eyes gray. I once wore an innocent pink lipstick, but have started to sport a black shade to hide my lips as they grew pale. My once youthful face now has dark circles underneath its eyes, and wrinkled despite its owner still being young. When had we grown apart? What did I do to our relationship? I wonder that as I got up and walked to our bathroom.

Our bedroom has an ensuite vanity, and our bathroom is a small, closet like room with only a single person shower across our toilet. Under the two sinks of our vanity, were three cabinets, all connected. The one to the far left with a secret compartment in its wall. I walk toward there and open the door. I then pull out the secret drawer, and take out the vials of Grimdark, needles, a stipe of rubber, and sanitation wipes that reside in there. I then crawled into our bathroom, closing and locking the doors behind me, and sat on the tiles in front of the toilet. I sanitized the needle before wrapping the rubber into a tourniquet. I then insert the needle into one of the vials and extract the Grimdark within, before injecting it into my bloodstream, and pulling the tourniquet loose. I lean back against the bowl of the toilet and let the black tendrils take over my vision.

I drowned in the memories that lead up to this. It's amazing how much can change in such little time.

***

John had been coming home later and later in the night, eventually bleeding into the morning before he'd show up. I decided to stay up one night and confront him.

At first he didn't see me standing in the kitchen, awaiting his return, however after flicking on the lights, this was remedied. "Heeeeeeeey! Whatcha doing up this late?" John asked with a goofy smile, having picked up his dragged out words long ago from his best friend and ex-girlfriend, Vriska. _Tell me where you've been, John. Why are you so late getting out?_

I smiled back, hoping it was convincing enough. Luckily he seemed too distracted with coming up with an excuse to notice my blatant lie. "I just wanted to surprise you." I lied. His smile grew, but never once did it reach his eyes.

"Aww that's so sweet!" He then pulled me into a hug. As he hugged me I realized he smelled like lipstick. Again. This hadn't been the first time I noticed a bit of lipstick stained to his neck, but I had figured it was just Vriska teasing him, like she usually does. I was starting to suspect otherwise; Vriska wears blue lipstick. This shade was _a blood red._

 _"Come on, John, answer my question! Say something! Why are you acting out? Why are you cheating on me?"_ I screamed at my memory. Nothing happened. It's just a memory after all.

Shortly after my realization, he spoke. "I love you Rose."

Tears threatened to fall as I realized his lie. Say it's all in my head! I don't want this to end! I yelled fruitlessly. No one could hear my cries.

I fought back the tears and steadied my voice before responding.

"I love you too John."

***

I heard John's return in the periphery of my mind as the next set of memories began to play. He called out to tell me he was home before heading to his office, most likely to watch Conair on his Cosbytop.

***

Weeks after I learned the reason behind John's distance, I talked to Jade about it in a very indirect way. She was able to figure it out with her amazing perceptional skills, however.

"Tell you what; I think you need a night out. Why don't you come with Dirk, Roxy, and I to the opening of the new Betty Crocker restraint. Jane invited Dave and me, but Dave isn't able to make it."

I smirked. "What is he becoming distant as well; dancing with harlots in the light of Selene herself? Or is he off chasing the dreams he had when we were blithe and he and I would nullify the slander about us that went around the school, with two differently styled esoteric prose; mine filled with gaudy lexeme, and his styled after the very rap artist he dreamed of becoming?" I said with playful, yet austere sarcasm. Jade knew I always meant it to be the former.

She giggled "No. He has a meeting with a publisher who wants to turn his newspaper comic into an actual comic book series!" She said in such a way that I could hear the smile on her face.

"Well tell him I'm surprised that such a provocative and ludicrous comic, made out of indolence, would be acclaimed enough that a publisher would engender it into comic book format."

Jade laughed lightly. "I'll be sure to _enlighten_ him of your _caustic pride_."

I smiled.

***

I heard the doorbell ring in the back of my mind while the next set of memories set up to be played. Currently all I saw were bits and pieces of my childhood.

I could hear John get up and walk out of his office to answer the door. Whispers of "I didn't hear her when I got home." from John and "She probably went out somewhere with her friends" from his floozy. John knows I don't hang out with my friends anymore; that I distanced myself from everyone but Kanaya and our dealer, Meenah. Despite this he seems unfazed by this though. He doesn't care about what I do anymore.

What followed were the sounds of "sloppy makeouts". They floated to my ears while I sat half animated in the bathroom close by, chasing an escape that seems elusive without the emulated death brought upon by Grimdark.

The last words I hear are conjoined “I love you”s between John and his broad, before a solid memory begins to appear before me.

***

The next memory to play is a slideshow of what happened between my discovery of John's tramp and my invitation from Jade. The memories of my thoughts during that time buzzed throughout my mind. Thoughts of _"Can I love him through all this deceit? Can I still trust him though this rough spot?"_ start out. The first and only vulnerable words to be spoken to my brother— _“I don’t know how to stop these teardrops that drip from my eyes, Dave. They just keep dropping to the floor.”_ —follow, reflecting the tears that started once I heard the shared proclamations of love.

***

Whispers of sweet words between John and his Jezebel waft into my head; resting upon my half hearing ears as I sat in the bathroom not too far from them. I heard giggles coming from the adulteress in reply to something John seemed to have said. How long ago was that me? When did he stop whispering to me words of fondness as we lay together? I don't know the answer anymore. I've asked these questions in the past when it got to this point in their meeting. It's been too long since he said any sort of comment, ugly or otherwise, about my appearance. I couldn't begin to guess even if I tried.

I see the sweet kiss they share in the moment of silence before I begin to lose consciousness. The horrorterrors—the name of the hallucinations, caused by Grimdark, that seemed to bring out the darkness and play your memories—relieve me of my pain by bringing about the darkness with their dark tentacles.

***

I had gotten dressed and was reliving my most recent encounter with John as I waited for Jade to take me to Jane's restaurant opening. This time his neck sported a hickey, and he had been out all night. I began to wonder who would lead him to adultery.

Wanting to clear my mind of these thoughts, I began to focus on my excitement to meet Roxy. Dirk had told me about this once habitually tipsy girl and her struggles with alcohol; weaving a beautiful tapestry of how he came to love this adorable drunk. John had also told me about her before we stopped talking, saying how he met her at a comedy gig he had at the rehabilitation center, and lost contact, only to be reintroduced again by Dave after Dirk started dating her. I was curious as to how such a girl had gotten the attention of Dirk and still managed to make off with his heart. I may never find out.

. . .

Eventually Jade came by and we drove off to the new her cousin's Betty Crocker restaurant opening dinner. Once there Jane and Jade greeted each other happily.

"Jade! It's so great to see you here! Jake and I are glad you could make it!" Jane said, hugging Jade.

"It's great to see you too Jane! Sorry Dave couldn't come"

"Nonsense, he needs this job. Frankly I've been worried about his ability to support you."

Jade laughed nervously. "You're still old fashioned like I remember."

"That's not true! We both know I'm the one that makes the money in my relationship. Someone has to fund Jake's crave for adventure."

"Did someone say adventure?" A voice said. Shortly after, Jake appeared.

"Hello Jade, I'm glad you can make it!" He hugged his cousin before turning to Jane. "Jane, your great-grandma wants to talk to you."

"Oh! Tell her I'll be right there, I want to introduce Rose to Roxy real quick." Jake nodded and dashed off, presumably to speak to Hickorey Crocker.

Jane made good on her word and walked us to our table with Dirk and Roxy. "Rose, I'd like you to meet Roxy, Roxy this the girlfriend of my baby brother." As I reached to shake Roxy's hand, I noticed her lipstick. It was slightly smeared and the same shade as the one I had spotted on John. Coupled with the fact that I noticed she had John's clown charm in her purse— the one I knitted him out of yarn— I knew this girl was the strumpet who's been sneaking around with John.

After introducing myself, I excused myself to go to the restroom. Once in there, I ran into my old supplier, Kanaya. I begged her to give me something. She apologized, saying she didn't sell anymore. Noticing my disappointment, she pulled me into a stall, and offered me a vial of troll blood, saying she would set me up with her dealer, once Meenah— the dealer— broke away from her mom, Hickorey Crocker. Ignoring her, I downed the drinkable drug and let the sludge take away the pain I felt in my heart.

. . .

I woke up at Kanaya's house the next day, and received a scolding from Kanaya for taking so much of the vial. She warned me of the power of it, saying I was lucky enough not to overdose. Afterward she introduced me to Meenah, and I began taking Grimdark.

***

Finally freed of the sad memories that haunt me these days, I woke up to find that Roxy had left and John was now in his office. I stand in the doorway of his computer room, watching him as he viewed ConAir on his Cosbytop.

He paused it once he noticed me standing there, waiting for me to speak.

"I loved you." I stated.

Silence followed. Years seemed to pass before he replied.

"I know."

I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to hear his name if this is where our relationship ends. I didn't want to run away from myself, because I knew I'd be lost again.

That night I took an over dosage of Grimdark.

The last memory to play through my head was of what my mom told me once, after drinking herself into a sobbing, drunken stupor

"Don *hic* Don evr *hic* don evr date bois *hic* honey." She said, her mascara running as she sobbed. "Allz they evr dooz is hrtcha."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really couldn't tell if there were too many almost direct quotes from the song or not. But I think, and hope, it came out good. Feel free to tell me in the comments.

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, I ship Prospitcest and Dersecest. I think the only true ships in here that I put in are Jane/Jake, and Dirk/Roxy, even though I made the latter a sunken ship. Weird, I know, but it seemed to fit this way. I mean, Roxy kinda seems like she'd cheat on Dirk given this situation; that she could be that kind of Rihanna type girl that was portrayed in the Unfaithful music video. And Dirk seems like the one to really show his heartbroken emotions if Roxy left him (in the scenario where he's not gay and is dating Roxy). Rose also seems like she'd show her emotions more and turn to something that invokes the sad feeling she feels, if she were to be heartbroken. I mean, She did go Grimdark, and was especially upset when she learned of her mother's death. She even held all that emotion in for quite a while before finally turning to alcohol-- at least in my opinion-- to wash away the hurt of losing her mom. I mean, I could be wrong in thinking that's the reason, but it almost seems to scream that it is. Also, she seems like the kind who would end her life if she was destroyed. Or maybe Roxy would be a better fit and I'm just reading too much into this whole Grimdark thing. Either way it made for a great story, right? To be honest, I'm not really even sure about that. Sorry about all the rambling. Hopefully you'll actually take the time to read all this so you know that I'd like to know what you think about this story. It's the first one I've finished so far, and I'm not quite sure when the others will be finished, but I hope I'll actually get around to it and unfinished stories don't begin to pile up like they have on my deviantART and my FF.net account.


End file.
